The Loneliness

Many people have asked me how I'm doing since my mom has passed.

It's been almost 2 months now.

And still, some days, it feels like it was yesterday.

Honestly, most days are good.  I keep busy, and I have a TON of friends and family around to support me.

But it's still hard.

Because in the back of my mind, it's always there.  That feeling that something is missing.  Or more accurately, someone is missing.

It's weird that even when there are so many around, without that one special person, you can still feel so lonely.

And it's not even that I was with her all the time.  But knowing she was there when I did need her made all the difference.

The other day, we were riding in the car and my daughter said she had a tummy ache.  For half a second, I thought to call my mom and talk to her about it, because I always did that when my girls were sick.

Or when I want to run a quick errand but don't want to take the girls with me, I want to be able to pick up the phone and ask mom to watch them.

Or when something exciting happens, I want to be able to tell her all about it.

And this morning in church, we sang one of her favorite hymns, and I could remember her singing it in church when I was growing up.

So much I miss about her.

Wishing so badly that she were still here.

But learning to adjust to the way life is now.