May 2, 2012

Putting My Kids Back In Diapers



It.  Never.  Ever.  Fails.

We're going out to lunch or dinner with friends

We get to the restaurant and just as I am getting into a really good conversation, (you know, after we have figured out seating, found ways to keep them busy and occupied, cut their food, encouraged them to eat, cleaned up their mess, taken a breath and started to eat my own meal), one of my girls says, "I have to go potty."

I think they hate me.

My heart sinks and my blood boils.

Don't they realize that this is my off duty time?  Couldn't they tell that I was enjoying myself?  Didn't they notice that this was the first adult conversation that I had gotten to have all day?

They don't even care.

I want to scream.  Like in a really loud and ugly way.  I want to yell, "didn't I tell you to go before we left the house?"

But I can't, because I don't want the reign of judgement from all the good parents.

So I get up and take them.

But I am annoyed. 

Like really annoyed.

So I have my own version of a temper tantrum and hurry them through it, and just as I sit back down, take a bite and try to figure out where we were in our conversation, the other child pops up and whadoyouthink she has to say?!

I need to go potty.

Why is The Lord punishing me?

I wasn't going to gossip.  I had no wrong intentions.  I just wanted to eat a hot meal, discuss Pinterest and find out when Brangelina is getting married.

But it's not meant to be.

I take her, and after we return, everyone is packing up to go.

Once again, they win. 

So, would it be wrong to put my 8 and 5 year olds back into diapers?



19 comments:

  1. How funny! I've had the same thought cross my mind on long car trips. I find myself telling my kids to only take little sips, so we don't have to stop. I found you on the Finding the Funny bloghop. Thanks for the laugh.

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  2. That is exactly how it is for me, too! They always have to "go potty" at the wrong times. One day they will potty by themselves. I just know it. I have this hunch. (Thanks for linking up with us over at #findingthefunny this week!)

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  3. thats quite funny really. Always seems to happen at the wrong time. Im sure they would understand if u put them back in diapers. Maybe they'll enjoy it.

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  4. You accompany your 8 year old to the bathroom??

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    1. In this world, you would be stupid not to take even an 8 year old to the bathroom.

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    2. completely agree!!

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  5. On long car ride my daugther and neices always wore pull-ups. Back in those days did not surf internet much and store bought diapers were too small.

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  6. Oh, dear! It's part of life and you may as well go with the flow!

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  7. No go ahead. Let us know how it goes!!

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    1. when we were going places and i reminded them to my 7 and 10 year olds kids wouldn`t even try to go to the bathroom.then about 15to20 minuts after we left one if not both had to use the restroom and if they couldn`t or i wouldn`t let them do so smostly because i was busy doing something right then.then.they`d just wet themself.so 6 about monthes ago i started making them wear diapers again when we went places.now i have nothing to worry about when in the car and i can do alot more without having to take alot of potty brakes so much so no it would be wrong to put your kids back into diapers.

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  8. I can see telling them, "Youre a big boy/girl now, and big boys and girls go to the bathroom all by themselves. OR Target has a 2 for 1 special on Pampers. You make the call.

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  9. I think it is fine. If it makes things much easier on you, they should accept the diapers, it really makes sense. Just get the proper size for them.

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  10. Well, if you do, if they're both girls, make sure you breastfeed them too. Just, you know, not in public so you don't embarrass them. It's simple, get them home, make them change themselves, strip them down to their diapers, pop off the shirt and bra, and go to town. If you're lucky, it'll really sexually arouse your husband, then, so long as you blindefold the girls and don't curse, he can fuck you while they breastfeed. Heck, if you really want some fun from him, triple diaper the girls.

    Or, if it's all just too much, next time one of them says "Mommy, I have to go", take them both to the bathroom, strip them naked, and unbirth them. Trust me, it'll work, at least until the hit 5'8", or over 135lbs, then they'll be too big for the unbirthing, and your better off just diapering them, and if they still want you to take them to the bathroom after that, do so, change them, but make them walk around in just their diapers all day, (shoes as needed, lest it be winter, then better have them wear pjs tnat really show that diaper buldge. Or, if that fails, then yes, strip them down to diapers and make them breastfeed in public. Have fun, oh, but don't try this with boys, it won't work, trust me, as a guy with 4 male cousins of various ages, I know what doesn't work with males.

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