Apr 25, 2012

Are You A Grown-Up Mean Girl?


I have noticed that Social Media can be a very passive aggressive place.

In fact, it kind of breeds passive aggressive behavior, because you can sit behind a computer screen and sort of hide.

Some examples I've seen are:

People on Facebook saying things like, "I am SO over the drama" or "I hate it when people are rude" or "Guess I know who my real friends are". 

Why not actually have a conversation with the people who are hurting you or making you angry?

It also can be a place that plays to the cattiness that women seem to love.

Like announcing what a great time you had with your Best Friend(s),  making sure others know they were not included.

Or talking about someone with others online without saying their name, (like they don't know you're talking about them).

Or 'checking in' someplace to purposely irritate someone else who wasn't invited.

Pinterest can even have it's own form of crazy.

Someone you know pins something that you like, but you don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing you repinned their pin, so you wait until an acceptable person pins it or search it out yourself and pin it.


It happens.

And especially in blogging.  It can be the worst.

You read someones blog every day only to criticize it to yourself and your friends, never admitting (out loud anyway), that the person had a good post, or did a great job.

You refuse to comment because that would let them know that you actually read their blog.

And when someone asks you about a post, you make comments like , "I don't read that blog" or "Never heard of her".

It's like adults went back to High School all over again.  We form facebook cliques, we ostracize the uncool kids, and we use our online savvy to make sure people know their place.

It's silly.

And sad.

I am sure that I have been guilty of it before, too.  But I hope not.

It's not okay to be mean to people in real life, and it's not okay to be mean online, either.  (Even when it's done in subtle ways.) 

And I never want to be a mean girl!

Have you noticed any of these?  Have you done any of these?  Why do you think we do things online, that we wouldn't think are acceptable in person?


  1. Have you heard of The Mom Pledge? I bet you'd like it: http://www.themompledgeblog.com

    I keep meaning to "rejoin" it - I was part of it with my old blog, but haven't joined with Honest Mom yet.

    I am so lucky in that I haven't experienced any online bullying or anything like that. In fact, I experience just the opposite: support, caring, humor - all good stuff.

    You'd better believe if I see online bullying happening to my friends, I will take action. Because that's Not. Cool. At. All.

  2. I was just thinking today about writing a post about how truthful we are with the bloggers we read. I put a comment on someone's blog that had the things I liked and didn't like about her post and some of her guests felt it necessary to defend her even though she seemed to appreciate my honesty. I wonder if people are ever really honest with bloggers and if bloggers really expect honest comments. Some of them seem to think they should only get positive comments and if you have criticisms, you should keep them to yourself. But there is a difference between being honest with criticism and just being mean.


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